If I was a conceptual artist I could take the experiences I have on the road with my shoes and mount a stand at the next Biennale. The first installation would be an empty white room with a Moire silk ribbon suspended from the ceiling and to it a strand of bright red hair tied in a delicate knot. On the floor...shoes what else? 

The inspiration for this artwork would be my most recent brush with fame. The story goes like this: my London press agent Leslie Whittaker returned to our booth at the Paris Premiere Classe shows with a delicate hair on her shoulder. Not any hair. But Grace Coddington's (http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Memoir-Coddington/dp/0449808068) hair. Do you love it? She has the main mane and I am sure she needs shoes. I am half tempted to design Miss Coddington a Velcro boot that could collect abundantly her glowing hair...and hence make a new art work. 

I am no fame junky. All my contact with the fashion A list is transitory. I mean literally in transit. On the Eurostar coming from London to Paris I was listening to a conversation between a British woman and a bizarre European man. I blinked over my shoulder. OMG orange eyebrows. It was Vivienne Westwood. She was incognito in an Anglo mania beanie. But if anything this functioned as a red arrow to her cult style status. I mean I saw Rosie Huntington-Whiteley on the plane from Milan to London and this time I was NOT wearing the terrible Lulu Lemon tracksuit (remember the Anna Wintour episode?) but no one wears jeans and ballet flats like a lingerie model. So I did that tall person shrinking into the carpet thing. And I have a photo of her disappearing through the aisle with a mane of hair that looked like Godiva on acid. Famous people have insane hair. Vivienne was hiding hers. Grace was molting like one of her beloved cats and Rosie was tossing it over her shoulders like fists full of silk. But I am not about hair I am about shoes. I think I better make a hat shaped like a shoe a la Elsa Schiaparelli so that when I finally become famous I can be known as the girl with a high heel sticking out where her ponytail should be.